For those traveling with children the question will come up at some point in time. When should I let my child go into the park alone? The decision is based on the child’s readiness and not a child’s chronological age. In this article we will discuss preparations for letting a child go on their own, developmental basics guiding that decision, rules and consequences for such adventures and the radius of the child’s outing. This article is written for the average child without developmental disabilities, behavior problems or significant family stress.

Preparations:

Parents should start training their child/children early. A common mistake many parents make is to assume that the transition from childhood to adulthood is like an on/off switch. This transition does not occur overnight; it’s a slow process where the child is shaped and groomed to take on the adult role by developing independence and confidence by gradually exposing the child to situations where they are gradually allowed to assume more responsibilities. Walt Disney World is a great place to start because there are so many skills that can be developed in a relatively safe environment.
So where do we start? Believe it or not you start training your child with language development. This training can help develop a child’s intellect. Every time we ask a child a question like “where is the monorail?” or “where is the castle?” we are developing the child’s ability to think independently and some research suggests we can even help develop abstract thought which is associated with developing a higher IQ. IQ is very flexible below the age of five; enrichment often helps develop or increase the child’s IQ. So age appropriate questions like: Where are we? What is that? What do you want to ride next? Who is that (character)? could enhance your child’s intellectual development and prepare them for that first independent outing. As they mature, from five to seven, start asking your child for direction, e.g, how do we get to the bus? What is the name of our resort?  Help your child develop vocabulary, confidence and abstract thought, all while preparing your child to think independently.

 
What is the ideal age?

  
There is no magical age for letting a child venture off alone. Years ago the Disney tickets stated that children under seven should be accompanied by an adult. I strongly suggest respect for the Disney’s current guidelines. It is more an issue of readiness than age. Here are some points that should be considered:

 

  
How far should my child explore?

 
Again it is a question of readiness. A young child can explore attractions or shows within the close proximity of the parent. Review the area and limits the child can explore and have a clear understanding of where and when the child should return. These exercises will help develop confidence and independence for greater exploration at a later age. Examples of early independent adventures would be to let a child ride or watch a show, alone or with a friend or sibling, and report back after the ride to a specific location clearly stated before the child leaves. As the child matures and gains experience then you may expand the area to a “land” or broader area with the understanding that they are very familiar with the perimeters of that area.

  
Why would I let my child wonder alone at this age?

  
There are countless reasons a young child should be given the privilege to explore an attraction or show on their own. Often a parent could have younger children and need to stop to change or feed a young baby. It may be a ride or show the parent does not care to ride. It is a great time to start to develop the child’s independence in a relatively secure environment.

  
Are some rides or shows better for their first solo adventure?  

  
Yes, especially when starting out. Start with the rides with fewer restrictions. Rides that allow you to watch your child while in line and even on the ride are best when starting out. The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party is a great first ride, its brief, in the open where you can observe the line and your child’s behavior while on the ride. Dumbo and the Magic Carpets are others that are in the open where you can watch that your child remains seated and inside the vehicle. Graduate up to Peter Pan’s Flight or Winnie the Pooh where your child is out of sight. Before you send your child into a ride with greater restrictions ask yourself if your child can stay seated and is capable to evacuate the ride without an adult present.

 
Explaining the rules:

  
Remind your child of the rules before starting out. This is also a good time to set up consequences for breaking the rules. Remember consequences should be carried out so make them realistic and age appropriate. Review the guidelines with your child such as keeping your hands and feet in the vehicle, no standing or leaning out, etc. Remind your child to be respectful in line and wait their turn; but, know your child. Some children have to be reminded to take their turn as some are intimidated by older patrons and forget to step forward in line as well. Show them where to enter and where you will be waiting for them when they exit the ride.

  
What if my child is afraid to go alone?

  
Part of readiness is the child’s comfort to go alone. If a child is 7 and afraid to venture off, even though they have asked then maybe they should wait until they are a little more confident. Toward the age of 10 a child can be encouraged to venture out despite their fears. Remember that anxiety is analogous to a muscle. The more times you experience it, often the stronger it gets. Pushing an anxious child to face their fears can often make the child more anxious that can carry into adulthood. Anxiety can be addressed by calming the child’s unrealistic fears. Typical fears a young child may have are: What if the ride breaks? What if I can’t find you? What if I fall out? I remember a particular fear I had as a child. I was afraid that the fire in the Pirates of the Caribbean was real and thought maybe no one noticed because everyone thought it was fake. Discuss your child’s fears. Often you can reassure them and help build confidence. This is also a good time to review how to ask for help and what to do if you do get lost and have your child tell you the location of your designated meeting place so they can verbally tell a cast member if lost. Another tip is to remember that as a child fatigues they will be less apt to try new things and some more prone to fear and anxiety while others more prone to impulsiveness and a shorter attention span.

  
Should I set time limits with my young child?

  
Yes, this is part of the learning process. The very first time should be no more than 15 to 30 minutes, with consideration of the line time. A young child does not have the attention span to stand alone in a line for 90 minutes. Remember this is a building process. Start small, look for short lines or brief experiences distributed throughout the trip and work your way up. Do your homework and prepare ahead. There is always next time. It is a great time to start teaching your child time management. Some rides with the wait time can take as long as 30 to 60 minutes on a good day.

 
Should I let my child go alone or with a sibling or friend?

  
Most often the more the merrier and safer; but, it does depend on the children. If your child is venturing off with a cousin who tends to get into trouble or has little or no experience on their own then I suggest using a little more caution. A child should demonstrate the ability to cooperate and follow rules before giving the privilege of leaving the group. Know the children; test them with short trials where you can observe their behavior. Some siblings/friends thrive together giving each other confidence and great company while some are more competitive and get into power struggles and disagreements. If they are sent out together they should return together. Do not send a child with another child that is difficult to manage. If the child has a disability then appropriate and progressive steps are strongly encouraged. Impulsivity is an important factor to consider. Is your child or their friend more likely to get into trouble with a friend?   
Are all shows and activities the same?

  
Crowds make a tremendous difference and this can change with seasons and time of day.  The shows located in the specific lands are typically smaller and offer a more controlled environment for seating. A large show in front of the castle exposes the child to more crowds and a broader area to get whisked away in a crowd, confused or lost. Parades also have their share of risks. Large crowds that often move swiftly out of the park can increase a young child’s chances of wondering out of the park and off track. There is also the risk of wondering directly into the parade route and injured or shuffled off course.

As the child matures and assuming they have some experience with independent play as they mature the area broadens. There are some mature nine year olds who know the park very well while some 14yr olds with little experience need a little more time to learn the areas.

  
How far should my child explore?

 
Again it is a question of readiness. Abstract thought begins to make a difference in the limitations that you place on your child. Some experts believe that abstract thought begins around 13 or 14 years of age; but, many children, especially bright ones have demonstrated abstract thinking at earlier ages. So how does a parent measure this? Knowing your child again makes the difference. Ask your child a series of “what ifs”. It is important that you do not provide the answers; but, let them answer your questions. For example: What do you do if you get lost? What do you do if the ride breaks down? How do you behave in line? What if I’m not at the meeting place? You want to measure how your child responds to situations outside of the norm and without your guidance. Reviewing scenarios appropriate to the activity help prepare your child for the solo journey. At this age if your child has experience and can successfully ride alone then it’s time to let them enjoy a portion of the park from a particular land to the entire park depending on their experience and the trust that you have developed with your child. At this point many children do not have the skills to venture outside of the park and it’s strongly suggested that they remain inside the park or resort area in which you are located. Many adults have difficulty with time management in the parks. Also make sure the child is caring a time piece. Do not expect your child to spend their time searching out an adult or Cast Member with a watch. A cell phone is also useful at this age for time and location. Walkie Talkies or other short distance communication devices are often difficult to manage due to the sound structure of many of the attractions.

Reviewing the rules and consequences:
Again, remind your child of the rules before starting out. If you want them back at lunch at a specific location remind them that sometimes a ride can take as long as 30-mins to an hour and they must prepare for travel time. This takes a great deal effort and maturity to develop good time management skills in the parks. Always ask where the child is going and for a plan of action. If the plan sounds unrealistic based on your experience and the crowds then help them modify their expectations and review the distance from the meeting place and the time it takes to return. Frequently children fail to return on time and often test the patience of the waiting party.
It is critical to set up the consequences in advance. A good rule of thumb is the first violation has a warning or minor consequence. However, if there are no consequences you may end up looking for your children half of your vacation. Remember consequences should be carried out so make them realistic and age appropriate. Telling a child they can never come back is not realistic.
What if my child is afraid to go alone?
If your child is still afraid to go alone at this age there could be many reasons. For example, sometimes children can pick up family stress and experience mild separation anxiety.  A child could also be anxious if they are unfamiliar with the grounds and it’s been a while since they have visited. If this is a problem then let the child help lead the family to help build up confidence. Of course there is nothing wrong with a child that wants to stay with the family. Remember it is a vacation and if the child is more comfortable waiting for you to change the baby or skipping a ride because a younger sibling can not ride, it’s okay, it’s their vacation too.
Should I set time limits with my young child?
Yes, limits are important; the child needs a time and place to return. If they have a lot of experience with exploring a land or ride without the family and want to explore further, especially if there is more than one then an increase of three to four hours is not unreasonable. During peak seasons and high crowds it is often difficult to complete several rides in a short time span. Meal time is always a good time to meet. Have breakfast, enjoy a couple of family rides together and then let them go until lunch. At this age it is best to have an idea of the return time even if your child is carrying a cell phone. In the parks, especially in the rides, cell phone reception can be poor to non existent, ringers turned off for rides etc. It maybe useful to set an alarm on the phone as a reminder to return; but, don’t rely on the cell phone to retrieve your child.
Should I let my child go alone or with a sibling or friend?
The same holds for any age, the more the merrier and safer; but, it does depend on the children. Know the children and their weaknesses. If this is your child’s friend who has accompanied you, make sure you observe when they are unaware that you are watching.

 
You say some shows and activities what is the difference?

 
At this age children are a little more aware of their surrounding. If you have a meeting spot after a parade or large show like the ones in front of the castle, make sure to have a meeting place that is away from the exiting crowds. More often pre-teens and teens prefer to move away from the shows or parade and toward the thrill rides when the lines are down or catch a few more rides while you stop to shop before leaving.

  

 

How far should my child explore?

 
At this age your child should be ready; but, it’s a question of how well the child knows the grounds and rules (discipline). If your child is new to Disney or does not have a great sense of direction, pull back on the privileges. If the child has a tendency to get into trouble then stay strict with the limitations, try to observe as much as possible and give privileges as appropriate to the child and age. It is not unreasonable to let a skilled, well-disciplined, 14 year old venture to another park.
Why would I let my child wonder alone or with friends at this age?
Remember at this age most teens think that it is so embarrassing to travel around with their folks. This is normal and is typically a brief time. It is a time when they are developing their own identity and separation is good. A parent’s job is to develop that sense of independence and the ability to strike out on their own.

Explaining the rules:

Rules are still important. All families need to practice clear communication and expression of their needs. Teens need to have limits and expecting them to return for lunch or dinner is not unreasonable. Again, remind your teen of the rules before starting out and the consequences. Often the withholding money is an effective way to manage a teen. More teens get into trouble with too much money and too much time. Again, consequences should be carried out so make them realistic and age appropriate. An example of a structured rewards system may be to give a teen a set amount per day for spending, maybe $10 or $20. The set amount is dependent on whether you will be feeding them or allows them to pick up meals on their own. Also let them know of the budget and if they chose to save the money for a larger item at the end of the vacation; that is beneficial too.  If the day goes well, no trouble and communication is fair then the next day they receive the same budgeted amount. Make this clear from the onset. This can help them to learn to budget money and to appreciate the value. Look at this time as a great time to develop their independence and not that they want to be away from the family.

Should I set time limits with my young child?

Even teens need limits. It is best to agree on when you will meet, whether it is for dinner or fireworks. Also consider your child’s limitations, if your preteen can’t swim, do not send them alone to go back to the resort to swim. Ask about their planned activities and stay in touch. Teens typically handle a cell phone better than younger ones. Make sure you put the responsibility on them to contact you at a certain time. This will help avoid the excuse of “I didn’t know you called”. Every teen is different and every family. Imagine the trouble they are prone to finding and head it off before it happens with your family rules and schedule. Teens, especially older ones are usually able to travel using Disney transportation from one park to another without problems. It is a good “rule of thumb” to review their plans and ask questions about the routes they intend to take. It’s not uncommon for adults to forget that taking the monorail from the Magic Kingdom to EPCOT involves a switch at the Ticket and Transportation Center. Remember the vacation is for everyone so plan to let everyone have a little time at something they enjoy. Parents often enjoy the company of their teens; some in small doses, so don’t be hesitant to ask your teen to meet you for dinner, even if they do request you wear a ski mask.  

  
Should I let my teen go alone or with a sibling or friend?

  
As they get older it can be even more important to know the other teen who will be accompanying your teen. Ask yourself, are they looking for “Disney entertainment” or other entertainment. Look for differences between your own child and the friend. Again there is usually greater safety in numbers; but, more opportunity to explore outside of the typical activities so remain observant. At this age most teens love to venture off from the family. They are seeking their independence. If a teen is reticent to leave then explore the problems. Ask yourself whether the teen is hesitant to leave with a friend because that friend has plans or activities they are not willing to try. A way to avoid peer pressure is to avoid the situation. Some are just afraid to miss out on something the family will be doing when they are away or miss a special meal.

  
Predators and Disney property.

 
Predators are out there most often looking for children who look isolated, alone or lost. In vacation areas it is not uncommon for predators to seek out victims in a bathroom or isolated area. While no one can guarantee your child will be safe; Disney does not offer the best environment for a predator. There are several factors that dissuade a predator on the grounds. One is the price of admission. Why should they pay to enter the park when there are other free and less restrictive places to look for victims? Two, the escape avenues are limited and guarded. If a child screams or warns people of his/her actions then the escape is highly compromised. Also areas like bathroom are often crowded and frequented by cast members. The factors help deter the predators and keep your child safe. It’s always good to remind your child, even teen, to avoid strangers. There are also areas that are not as restrictive as the parks. The resorts have more isolated areas and areas such as Downtown Disney are more accessible to the general public. While no place is fool proof, the parks are generally less prone to predators than a county fair or carnival. Keep your child informed of strangers and the risks.

What if my child has a disability?

  
If your child has issues that can interfere with functioning then more caution and practice may be necessary. If your child has difficulties with intellectual functioning then maturity and company can help. Know your child’s intellectual age. Children with limited intellect often have difficulty with abstract thought and struggle to manage in an emergency or may get lost more easily. If your child is ADD/ADHD this does not mean they can not go into the parks alone it only means that you need to be aware of your child’s limitations and behavioral issues. It is always best to err on the side of caution. Check out the article on ADD/ADHD and your child in the park.
Again, this article is written with the intent to help parents create a plan for their child and offer suggestions for independent adventures. A Parent knows what is best as far as the child’s comfort level and ability to wonder off alone or with a friend; however, if your child is traveling with a family member or friends ask about the plans for the park. Consider the number of visits, the recency of your last visit, the skills of your child and their personality or propensity for trouble or anxiety. Is your child cautious or a risk taker? Adapt the plan accordingly. The goal is for everyone to have a wonderful time. Please join our discussion board if you have any questions or ideas you want to share.